Monday, 27 March 2017

Opening Up

I had a bit of a revelation over weekend about opening up, feelings and emotions. I'm evidently quite private about how much I share on my blog as it's out there for everyone to read and this seems to be a common factor in my actual life too. I've read so many blog posts over the years where people just share what's been going on in their mind and share advice and are pretty open. And those are often my favourites because they're raw and real life.

So I'm going to talk about opening up today.

Where to start? 

I've always, like so many other people (I think it's a female thing to do?), when asked 'Are you ok?' replies with 'Yes I'm fine', even if in reality I'm not. I'm not one for opening up and sharing a whole lot about me until you know me really well... Until a few days ago. 

I realised this weekend just how much of a closed book of I am. And I can't be alone in this, right? I'm not one of those people that shares their life openly, I probably have one or two really close friends that know close to every detail of my life and I guess even with them there are things I've left out. 

It's just not me to be an open book...Is that a bad thing? 

Well, I'm beginning to think it's not doing me any favours to bottle stuff up and not tell anyone. Like I said I am a private person especially when it comes to personal stuff. And as with most people there are some things no-one really needs to know but what do you do when you can't keep it in anymore? Tell someone! 

It's a type of defence mechanism, not opening up, is what someone told me and I completely agree. You definitely feel more vulnerable to being hurt if someone knows absolutely everything about you. But there are always ways to subtly tell a close friend what's been going on. And of course as a good friend they won't judge you. So in a round about way here goes... 

I've had some family issues happening along with the worry of not having a job at the moment (I'll explain that in an upcoming post) so they've been playing on my mind. So I think I just 'broke' over the weekend. Alcohol played its part - maybe not a wise choice - but I did feel a little more relieved after it. It made me realise you can't help someone who doesn't want help or to address the issue point blank. And that's a bit of a scary thought. I guess there comes a point when you have to get on with your life and just not worry about what's next until it happens. I don't know why I took about 30 minutes to write those sentences, kept pausing and still keep thinking it over.

Opening up is something I've realised I need to do more of otherwise I'm just going to drive myself crazy. Maybe I do need to find ways to tell my close friends what is stressing me the heck out...? 

It doesn't even have to be someone you're close with, sometimes it's a lot easier to talk to someone who knows so little about you. Just don't cram everything into your poor old self because as I learnt you'll explode at some point. You might not need someone to give you advice, just to listen but find someone. Even writing things down can help. I'm never going to be a complete open book but opening up in less obvious ways will definitely help! 

I'm always about motivational quotes so if you have any please let me know. 


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